Let's talk about a big challenge for newbies & seasoned swingers in the lifestyle. It's called "The Swingers Conundrum!" The dilemma is that you want to attract play partners but you also want a certain level of privacy as you hide from your vanilla friends.
We know many lifestylers that change the city they live in, their ages, & work industries. All of a sudden they're marketing themselves as a totally different couple. Consequently, they attract the wrong types that live far away. Surprise!
How do you find a good balance of what you share on a meet-up site?
The main issue is that you want people to like you for who you really are in life... but the paranoia of getting caught makes you hide your best qualities. If the goal is sexy playtime with others, being honest & congruent is a great way to start.
How do you showcase your best self while still making it difficult for co-workers & vanilla friends to identify you on a swingers site?
We're outlining a full podcast episode on dealing with "The Swinging Lifestyle Conundrum," but here are 2 quick things that you can do right now to help you attract the mates you desire & deserve.
At a minimum, you should include the following types of images in your photo array. It's called "The 4x4 Matrix."
4 - Full body pics of you standing together, head to toe.
4 - Pics of the woman doing hobbies to attract kindred spirits
4 - Pics of the man doing cool stuff to attract similar people
4 - Selfies of you guys doing things that you'd like to do on double dates
Feel free to crop your faces out in the public folders but consider showing your faces in the private folders. Mix up the pictures and scatter them around. In another blog post, we'll talk about the kind of naughty images that you should also make available for the people browsing your online profile.
Fill out all the segments of your online profile & add a few paragraphs of text. Even if you don't have much text, you want to give people a snapshot of who you are. Highlight your style and sense of humor. Don't list a bunch of things that you don't want. You'll sound like a complainer.
The goal with your profile is to fish & attract the correct people to you. If you love to ride motorcycles, hike in the mountains, or run marathons, put those types of images in your profile. If you love fine dining & wine, this is your opportunity to upload pictures of you at the vineyard. Your pictures will say more about you than lengthy text could. Use it to your advantage.
These images also serve to repel certain people. In our profile, we share pictures of us at the shooting range. We're wearing guns on our hips & having fun practicing safety & accuracy. Well, the anti-gunners tend to stay away from us. That's a great thing. We no longer have to be out with them & listen to them talk about how they would rather protect their family with a golf club or with their forearms. And they don't have to lecture & project onto us the gun dangers that exist in their heads.
Truth be told. We have gone out on several dates with couples that do not like firearms & we've had a great time together. We have found the Lifestyle to be way more tolerant than the vanilla world. We are able to separate our beliefs & focus on friendship & sexy time. Neither of us tries to convince each other to change our lives.
One couple admitted that they found it wonderful that we shared our true selves & they admired our honesty & confidence. We're still friends today & hang out often.
Below is a perfect example of the kind of lifestyle pic that you could include in your public album. It's my Husband-Boo, he's refreshing my glass with a nice red wine. That pic says a lot to those that we want to attract. To the rest of the people, it's just a dude pouring some wine.
We'll give you full training on the psychology of the images in the upcoming episode. We will also cover several other elements that will help you get the dates you want & deserve.
About The Priory Society - A Swinger Podcast
We’re Eros and Isis, a happily married mid 30's couple from Los Angeles, CA. We lead a secret life as swingers & we share our naughty stories of wife swaps & other sexual adventures on our show. We started this podcast to help curious newbies understand & navigate the swinging lifestyle. Having an open marriage with ethical non-monogamy is a beautiful thing when done correctly. We invite you to discover your pleasure with the Priory Society Podcast. Connect with us here:
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