The swinging lifestyle gets more fun when you "Become the Best Version of Yourself!" That's because when you improve your mind, body, & spirit... you tend to attract higher quality people to your life. If you've listened to our podcast, you know that we say it often & it's one of our recurring themes. Here's a tactic that will allow you to become your best self by increasing your acceptance & compassion toward others. This applies to all of you regardless of your marital status. This works beautifully as a couple or a single playing in the lifestyle.
On your next several dates... focus on fulfilling the desires & fantasies of the OTHER couple or single that you're out with. So many times we are only concerned with fulfilling our own needs & wants. It's nice to turn the tables once in a while. This will also force you to improve your communication with your primary partner & your play partners in the lifestyle. Make it your duty to discover their arousal template so you can give them exactly what they want to experience.
The following three lessons will help you become great ambassadors of the swinger lifestyle:
If you're getting together with a couple that's new to the Lifestyle, let them dictate the velocity & flow of the evening. Let them savor the anticipation of what is possible while on a flirty date with you. They may love the build-up of what is to come. During drinks, ask leading questions & pay attention. They will tell you WHAT they want to experience & HOW they want it. You can then execute a sexy plan with their primary drivers as the main event. A new couple may be content with a steamy make out session. If that's all they want... give them just that as a stepping stone in their evolution. They always set the pace of play so never push it.
Many couples with experience will have the desire to take things further during a play session. Perhaps your sexy date is ready to move on from soft swap to a full wife swap. Ask them about their ideal setting. What scene do they have in their head? How do they want it to be? Make sure to set up a "Sensual Sanctuary" as we have taught you & make it a special occasion. Do they want to play in a hotel? At their home? On a weekend escape of wine tasting? Fulfill it for them down to every detail. Unless you're more polyamorous, you're not establishing an emotional relationship with them. But they are friends so let's go beyond the call of duty & organize a memorable event for them. Just like you would for a good friend in your vanilla world. Make them feel special. They're letting you play with their husband or wife. It is a special occasion for all of you.
Talk to the couples or singles that you have already played with and ask them if it is time to turn up the heat on sexy dates? Ask them about their latest fantasies and see if their parameters have changed. If yes, compare notes and come up with a plan. How about performing a simultaneous hall pass or go out on a double date but wife swap for an entire evening? Maybe have a fancy wine dinner where you all dress up, sit swapped & pretend that you are official couples then go back for sexy group fun?
ADVANCED DATE OPTIONS
These are only ideas. Don't try these things if you're brand new. You can also ask your friends if they are ready to explore full swap separate room play. Perhaps you can hot tub together & then go to 2 different bedrooms for your partner swap. Here is another fun idea: meet a sexy couple at a hotel and reserve 2 rooms. Have drinks at the lobby bar and after a few cocktails leave with the swapped partner. Retreat separately to 2 separate hotel rooms for naked fun. You can meet back down in the lobby in 2 hours or so. How about a date at the movies where you sit swapped & make out like youngsters?
WE DON'T WANT TO SEPARATE YOU
Please don't think that we're trying to separate you. When we were new, we would not entertain the idea of EVER separating during play. We also understand that some of you may be thinking the same thing right now as you read this. Maybe you like to remain connected during play so you can see & hear your lover in ecstasy with somebody else? We totally get it. That's why we're mentioning these scenarios in the advanced section. You should also know that there are newbies that insist on separate room play for a number of reasons. Some couples actually perform better with nobody watching them. Then there is the "cheating" fantasy where you're with a new lover alone, but not really cheating. Since you're both doing it.
So it's all about discovery & then you respect peoples rules. But, you really don't know what your sexy friends what have in mind until you ask. Challenge yourself & have fun exploring within the parameters & the dynamics of the group.
Your job is to elicit the primary drivers of your dates & show them a wonderful experience. Make the Lifestyle a beautiful place as a result of YOU being in THEIR lives. Always operate respectfully & have their best interests in mind. When you put their needs first... you perpetuate a wonderful karmic cycle where you can expect many rewarding and sexy experiences in return (at least we think that way) Do your best to enrich other people's lives and yours will get better by default. Always be a giver!
SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE
By the way, we have done all of the items in the advanced segment. These are not just fantasies. We've lived them & they are very fun when performed with another couple that has a solid relationship. These activities only work with another couple that has great communication, trust, and lots of love for each other.
In a future podcast episode, we will tell you all about a "Naked & Ready" encounter that we had with a naughty couple. We have wife swapped & retreated to 2 separate hotel rooms with this naughty couple. We once did a round #1 play session then met in the lobby and went to dinner as a group. Then we all returned to the hotel & separated again for round #2 of our sexy encounter. Stay tuned for that episode. We will give you the entire play by play.
Below is a picture of us starting our weekend early. We hope all you swingers have a great week. We're going offline for several days & will only be available by satellite phone as we'll be on the water & away from cell service. More articles with useful swinger advice are coming soon.
About The Priory Society - A Swinger Podcast
We’re Eros and Isis, a happily married mid 30's couple from Los Angeles, CA. We lead a secret life as swingers & we share our naughty stories of wife swaps & other sexual adventures on our show. We started this podcast to help curious newbies understand & navigate the swinging lifestyle. Having an open marriage with ethical non-monogamy is a beautiful thing when done correctly. We invite you to discover your pleasure with the Priory Society Podcast. Connect with us here:
*You are free to use & redistribute this article. You may upload this post to your own website but you may not alter the content or title. You must include the about us, any media, & contact information links as attribution. You're granted the 4.0 Creative Commons permission below. Share away!
We're Eros & Isis, a married couple in our mid 30's and we lead a secret life as swingers in Los Angeles, CA. Read our blog & listen to the Priory Society Podcast to hear all about our sexy adventures in the swinging lifestyle.
4 Reasons Why Swingers Need 2 Beds for Wife Swaps
The Swingers Conundrum – A Big Challenge for Lifestylers
The Swinging Lifestyle helps you Create Amazing Rocking Chair Stories
Swingers are HUNTING for Partners but They Need to Learn How to FISH